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How long until the following poser bands become tr00??

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As regular readers of SYWH know, and as the above example illustrates painfully well, it is inescapable part of scene-life that seemingly all bands who were seen as ‘gay shit for homos/posers/scene kids’ at some point turn the corner and become not just accepted as tr00/real music but worshipped by the same aspie nerds who once hated them. I mean, who would have ever thought in 2009 we’d see the day when some IMN virgin would be calling me a poser for NOT being into BORN OF OSIRIS and AUGUST BURNS RED?!

That said, the tr00 transformation timeline is different for every band. For some it happens overnight (SUISIDE SILENCE), for others can take over a decade (WINDS OF PLAGUE). In this post, let’s try to guess how much longer the following bands will remain hated before they inevitably end up being embraced:

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

My guess: 2018. This band is what Real Music dorks/IMNs have always said they wanted: a no-bullshit, straight up metal band who can play their asses off. Also, they have a small amount of hardcore cred (BFFs with James from 18V and played some shows at the Showcase et al with those bands). The problem is that they are insanely popular (17 million fb likes; appeared in Call Of Duty, etc) and well, losers hate winners. Will have to wait until their popularity dies down a bit before their inferiority complex lets them like this band.

TDWP

My guess: 2016. Musically, they pretty much already sound like boring “brooding metalcore” that could come out on Deathwish (aside from the cleans which they’ll probably drop soon). They look like schizophrenic vagrants, so any “pretty boy” accusations are toothless. And nobody really gives a shit about the band anymore (675k views on this video in 6 months? Ouch), so it should be OK to like them relatively soon.

ALL TIME LOW

My guess: 2020. It’s gonna take a while for this one to happen. The band is huge, their fanbase is still 90% jailbait, and they show no signs of putting out an album that “showcases their love for Americana” or whatever. I know it seems impossible to think that ATL could ever be beloved by the likes of the Absolute Punk-neckbeard-pop punk police, but consider how much those same losers love BLINK-182, who were legit tween hearthrobs just 15 years ago. Or the fact that those kids worship fucking YELLOWCARD of all bands. It will happen, trust me. It always does.

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH

My guess: 2015. Hard rock is obviously the flavor of the month, and while FFDP can be pretty cringey, they’ve also got some great #hardrock jams that make you wanna burn your GED and be like “fuck you, dad!!!!” Like SLIPKNOT before them, they’re a point of entry into the world of ‘aggressive music’ for the kids who are coming into it from the loserish-white-trash-kid-from-a-broken-family side of things (aka kids who for some unexplained reason were raised by their grandparents), and I’ve already heard some of the more advanced deathcore/metalcore kids admit to liking this band. I predict that they’ll approach SLIPKNOT levels of jockage by the end of the decade.

PIERCE THE VEIL

My guess: 2017. Although PTV gets a lot of attention from jailbait, the fact is that their music itself is actually kind of weird and a bit on the progressive side. On purely musical grounds, the same losers who fawn over overrated pretentious bunk like REFUSED and THE MARS VOLTA should be into this band, but they’re not allowed to at this point due to the ‘jb factor.’ Just need to give it a couple years until the memories of their little sisters’ Vic Fuentes posters fade away.

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