Every day I witness more and more people around me having delusions of tr00ness. What are delusions of tr00ness, you ask? Following the same idea of having delusions of grandeur (when someone believes that they’re the shit but they really aren’t all that), people who have delusions of tr00ness are convinced that they’re really tr00 and that they’ve been that way from the start, when really they’re just compensating, sort of like how I pretend to be alpha on the internet. I don’t know why this trend has been increasing over the years, as I find it quite cringe-worthy personally. Like, if you’re going to try to become somebody you’re not, at least make it something cool. Not a nerd. Lol. Stupid betas.
Case #1: Buddy Nielsen (Senses Fail)
Buddy Nielsen’s past history with his delusions of tr00ness is actually somewhat aggressive. To establish his territory in the tr00 community, he started beefing with Neon Pop and Hollistercore bands, kinda like that asshole kid at school who picks on other kids to try and climb the social ladder so he can be cool but really he’s just an insecure bitch. He should change his name to Bully Nielsen, cause that’s pretty much all he is, a bully. It is sad to see such an important spearhead of the scene movement go down this path.
In this video, Bully Nielsen talks about his beef with All Time Low and Boys Like Girls. I think it’s weird what he says at the end about how Boys Like Girls will never experience a “meaningful” relationship with their fans or whatever. How does he know that they won’t change their image and start playing a watered down version of what they conceive as “real” music until they realize that people only care about their old stuff, so they go on a 10 year anniversary tour for their first album to try and maintain what little fanbase they have left? I mean, that’s what Senses Fail did, right?
Prognosis: I would say there’s not much hope left for Buddy. He is probably in his 30′s now and him latching on to any potential untr00 trends in the future would just be weird and unlikely. He is basically going to become his generation’s version of Kevin Seconds once Kevin Seconds retires and moves into a nursing home (IE like now).
LMS if u remember when Buddy was sexy
Case #2: Ron Jeremy
What happened Ron? Did you sexually contract the music taste of one of the teenage girls you were fucking? Did you have a striking realization that a lifetime of producing smut was too empty so you “got your feels on” by relating to the faux-angst of a bunch of confused upper-middle class youths? Remember when you used to be scene? You taught us cool new mosh moves so we could throwdown to ADTR and disrespect our surroundings in the pit.
throwback to when Ron Jeremy was scene
Prognosis: I anticipate that Ron Jeremy will make a full recovery. He seems to genuinely not give a fuck about age (dude became scene when he was like 50), so as soon as the inevitable scene/neon revival comes into play, he’ll probably jump on board.
Case #3: Kyle Fasel (Real Friends)
Kyle, don’t think I didn’t notice ur bitchass hiding in the merch tent in that last pic. You’re one of the worst offenders of this shit. Kyle is an example of how a person having delusions of tr00ness can also be commonly linked to depression and malnutrition. Ever since being diagnosed with the condition, Kyle has experienced unhealthy weight loss, extreme sadness, intr00sive thoughts and alarming despair. Someone needs to get this dude a neon uptake, stat.
watch this video to learn about kyle’s depressing life story
…and don’t think I forgot about that time I walked in on ya boy Dave Knox wearing a Rockett shirt and reading a 2009 edition of AP magazine. Sorry I forgot to knock, Mr. Knox. That was quite obknoxious of me. “Huh?! I only wear this shirt to take dumps with, I swear!” Yea right. Save the excuses son. I’m exposing all of y’all. Real Friends? More like Real Fakes.
You disrespected me, Kyle. Now I gotta to put ya squad on blast.
#rare and #based photo of scene-era Dan Lambton
“and we could listen to a day to remember and talk about high school, just like we did the years before”
ur face when u just got exposed
Furthermore, I tried analyzing some of Kyle’s lyrics to get a grasp on how serious his condition really is…
Then I found some of his spoken word poetry…
lol dafuq this is creepy
Prognosis: I would say that Kyle’s case is terminal and there is no hope at all for him to get better. Plus his spoken word is on some pretentious hipster shit. He’s probably one of those people who buys vinyl just to upload pictures of it onto instagram and doesn’t even listen to it. Kinda like those posers in middle school who bought pokemon cards to show them off but didn’t know how to play the game. Smh. He will never be accepted back into the neon community.
but remember the good times…
& be on the lookout for the new Real Friends album
Have any of ur friends ever had delusions of tr00ness and u had to be the one to sit them down and set them straight? Have u urself dealt with having delusions of tr00ness? Should Kyle Fasel start embracing the neon lifestyle again to find true happiness?