Am I the only one who feels a little weird seeing “Facebook” and “Millionaires” in the same sentence?
There are few things more cringeworthy than when someone who is not a big deal at all acts like they are a big deal. It’s even worse when their ego is so giant that they lack the self-awareness to perceive the lack of interest in their presence, so they keep acting like they’re the shit even when it’s painfully obvious nobody is interested. “WHAT THE FUCK IS UP YALL, WHO WANTS TO GET THIS MOTHERFUCKIN PARTY STARTED?!?!” *crickets/tumbleweeds* “THATS WHAT I FUCKIN THOUGHT!!! ALRIIIIIGHT! YEAH!”
Which is pretty much exactly what happened when I saw MILLIONAIRES last year and they drew ~40 people– and that was with fucking Trace Cyrus headlining. Based on what can only be described as overwhelming lack of popular demand, I am not sure what led them to believe that going on tour for THREE GODDAMN MONTHS was called for, but that is exactly what they’re doing.
The routing looks like a sarcastic joke, like you went down the list of “crappy B/C-level markets that your band will look back on and shudder because last time you played there the shows were so shitty it made you consider giving up on music” and checked off every one of them:
- Fresno, Bakersfield, SLO and some place called Orangeville: strong selection of California dates. Hitting all the big markets.
- Two dates in Indiana (neither of which are Indianapolis)
- Akron, Toledo, Columbus AND Cleveland. Why not throw Dayton, Cincinnati and Youngstown in there just to make sure you get complete saturation of decaying rust belt cities??
Look for turnout on this tour to be so depressingly shitty that you’ll almost feel sorry for the Green sisters (or least as sorry as you can feel for soulless manipulative harpies with rich parents).
ITS YA BOY SERGEANT DAND RYAN P KICKIN IT WITH TRACE CYRIZZLE