As someone who has been watching MMA for over 20 years, one of the hardest things to see is when a fighter who should have retired many years ago just won’t hang up the gloves and ends up being on the receiving end of one brutal, life-shortening beating after another because they’re just too stubborn to admit that their time is over. If names like Chuck Liddell, Jens Pulver, Stefan Struve, and Takanori Gomi mean anything to you, then you know what I’m talking about.
What’s perhaps even more sad is the musical equivalent: those bands that just won’t admit defeat and call it a day, that keep trudging on despite 5-10 years of irrelevance. Below are a few of the most shocking and embarrassing examples:
A SKYLIT DRIVE
If u thought these guys were gone, u are very wrong: they are about to drop their SIXTH album (*crickets*). Also, their singer is now a personal trainer– all those shirtless selfies make Bryan Stars’ heart go pitter-patter!
VANNA
These guys are still around, although they only have 150k facebook likes- ouch. They have kind of rebranded themselves as a somewhat tr00 band (complete with cholo font even tho they’re from Maryland). Latest video is painfully corny, featuring the singer in a denim jacket and man-bun.
MYCHILDREN MYBRIDE
You may remember these guys for that one “hit” they had in like 2007 with that one zany guy being all xD in the video, but they never really followed it up with anything. They have also rebranded themselves as mega-tr00, although despite their best efforts and being around for over a decade they still only have 15k Twitter followers :/ Look for them soon at a sparsely-attended show at your local 500-cap venue.
HASTE THE DAY
Well I can’t hate on where these guys are at… despite a relatively paltry social following (227k Facebook, 17k Twitter), obviously someone cares: they raised $140k to record their upcoming album! I guess nobody told their fans that a band at their level can easily make an album for $10-12k but hey, I’d take their money too.
I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE
These guys are still around, but seem to be on life support: they are down to one member, haven’t put out an album since 2011, and their facebook gets updated about twice a quarter. Too bad, I thought they were genuinely clever and talented– could have been a DETHKLOK-like phenomenon.
AIDEN
I thought this band died with Myspace, and was probably as surprised as you are to learn that not only are they still around but that they have released NINE albums O_o Their social audience is pretty sad, but I feel like their demographic (chubby girls with low self-esteem and social anxiety) monetizes really well so they at least have that on their side. Not bad for a tryhard kid from Northgate!
EVERGREEN TERRACE
And finally we have this band, perhaps the saddest of the bunch. Not only is their social audience tiny (106k Facebook), the engagement is also sad– TWO comments?! Ouch :/ These guys are also on their sixth release… what is it with these bands and pumping out so many goddamn releases?!
I feel kind of bad writing this, and I am not trying to kick anyone when they’re down… I know it’s really hard to let go of your baby when you’ve been doing it for years. And for some of these guys, maybe the band is just a fun hobby and they don’t really care if it goes anywhere. All I’m saying is, don’t be Chuck Liddell… don’t keep getting in the ring, convinced that you’d still got what it takes to win the belt only to get viciously KO’d by someone 15 years younger than you (ie, ISSUES).
